Thursday, September 08, 2022

Nancy Gilbert's memories of childhood summer times

 

SUMMER/TIME

 

    Because we value diversity here, let me say that I respect those people who think winter is wonderful. And the brilliance of autumn leaves against a fall sky is stunning. I catch my breath every spring at the sight of greening grass and fat buds.

    But I have always loved summer best.

    I continue to be amazed that I have somehow found myself, by my own choice, living out my life in Winnipeg. Our Manitoba summers are lovely, but far too brief.  Do you know the Robert Service verse, The Cremation of Sam McGee? Here's an excerpt:

 

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.

Why he left his home in the South to roam 'round the pole, God only knows.

He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;

Though he'd often say in his homely way that "he'd sooner live in hell."

When Sam freezes, the poet drags the body to a wrecked vessel on Lac LeBarge, firing

up the boiler and stuffing the body in. After a bit he goes back to check on him.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;

And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close that door!

It's warm in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm--

Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it's the first time I've been warm."

 

Sam and I are kindred souls!

    My early years were spent in the south and my mother's handbook was called "The Care and Feeding of Children in Warm Climates." Warm is good. Hot is fine. And summers can never last long enough. It's in my blood.

    But summer has more going for it than just heat. Even young children know that summer is different from all other seasons. School stops, schedules disappear. In summer - time has a different quality. There's more of it. Days and weeks stretch endlessly through long, empty summers. It's vacation time. The word is from the latin - vacare meaning freedom. Also respite, intermission, activity suspended, exemption from work. A wonderful word, vacation.

    As a child, my summers varied but they all had that "outside of time" quality. I remember the one after fourth grade when we lived in rural Arkansas. There were already four younger children so I was relatively free from supervision. I gathered the fruits of blackberry bushes and pecan trees. Alone, I found my way across a stream and through the woods and up into the foothills of the Ozarks. I succumbed to the power of books –weeping over Little Women, stirred by Robin Hood, and transported by the Swiss Family Robinson.

    I was about ten when my mother and stepfather moved to Long Island and my father remarried. Some arcane adult logic decreed that henceforth my sister and I would spend winters in the north and summers in the south while a younger brother would live full time in New Orleans. My REAL life – school, friends, homework, bratty little brothers, girl scouts - took place in the north.

    Summers were in another world. Everything was other - climate, culture, home, parents, and the rules. Susie and I boarded a train in New York; 36 hours later we got off in New Orleans. It was a kind of overnight transformation from Ma's unconventional and artistic environment to Papa's middle-class conservatism.

    We came to enjoy the trip - sipping ginger ale and playing Canasta in the club car. Practicing being ladylike while tackling impermeable lettuce wedges in the jiggling dining car.

    It could not have been easy for my father and stepmother (Papa and Katherine) to keep us entertained. I'm sure it was hard on my little brother, annually evicted from his bedroom.  I expect we whined about having nothing to do. But we loved doing nothing. We could spend hours poking the little creatures we called doodle bugs to make them roll up into a ball. I remember long mornings of sitting, in a posture I find hard to believe today, playing endless games of jacks on the cement driveway. Sometimes we took the streetcar to the swimming pool in Audubon Park. We collected amusement park coupons from the grocery store, good for rides on the Whip, the bumper cars, the miniature train that went through a dark tunnel. And the carousel with classic carved wooden animals moving up and down to the music of a real calliope. I can still feel the solid weight of the tarnished brass ring I occasionally snared. Good for one Free Ride!

    And there was yet another world, a world of privilege and propriety. My maternal grandparents (known to us as Mere and Daddy) also lived in New Orleans. My grandfather was fun; he joked and taught us to play poker and made sure we won the pot. My grandmother treated us with a fretful indulgence, constantly worrying about germs. She literally believed that money was filthy — demanding brand new bills right from the bank.

    Home air-conditioning was unheard of but her house had high ceilings with gentle rotating fans. Tall outdoor shutters were closed all day to shut out the sun, winter woolen rugs were replaced with woven straw and the chairs all had summery slipcovers. The grandparents took us to the country in a big car with jump seats in the back and Blaise at the wheel, spiffy in his chauffeur's cap. The family sugar company had a guest house in Reserve, La., where the refinery was. Once a true plantation home, gardens, pillars and all, it was then used for meetings and family outings. We loved going there, getting all kinds of perks as Mr. Walter's grandchildren — rides on the little steam engine that transported cane from field to refinery; squirts of milk from cows in the damp clean- smelling dairy nearby and special treats from the cook. I never questioned the advantages of one way of life over another until I was older. These differences just were.

    Back in the city, there might be a week of Vacation Bible School. The ping pong was OK but I wasn't equipped for competitive bible quoting. That experience just might have kept me from embracing religion.

    Most days we stripped to our underwear after lunch and "rested" or read in the breeze of a giant window fan my father had concocted using an outboard motor. Then more games — hearts, anagrams and monopoly while sipping lemonade and Dr. Pepper. In the evening we went for drives to the lakefront, often stopping at an outdoor watermelon stand. Eat in or take out. My father's solemn melon thumping was as central to the ritual as the exuberant seed spitting. Sometime during the summer there was a long car trip to Oklahoma to visit Papa's parents or weekend jaunts "across the lake" to the Gulf Coast where I learned the lazy sport of crabbing. First tie some hunks of bacon in the nets, drop them off a pier, swim, play or snooze for an hour and then pull them up to check for crabs.

    As I grew older I spent less time in the south. One summer I went to a Quaker camp in Pennsylvania for a month. Quakers believe whole-heartedly in the value of work. Quakers probably don't go crabbing. Every camper was assigned a task -- mine varied from table clearing to latrine patrol. There, I learned to embrace the silence of Quaker worship as we sat on logs above the banks of the Neshaminy River on Sunday mornings. (I loved saying Neshaminy.) In high school I hung out with friends at Jones Beach. We thought we were pretty cool as, basted with baby oil, we baked in the sun for hours on end. Melanoma? Who knew? And every year I spent at least a month in New Orleans.

    As I thought of summer, sensations began to flood in. 

    The smells of salt water, night blooming jasmine, and coffee roasting — the little grocery in New Orleans roasted beans twice a week. The smell of fresh picked clover flowers, raw material for braiding clover chains and crowns.

    The sounds of a policeman's nightstick rippling across iron fences as he walked his evening beat. The morning music of women chanting "fresh figs, fresh figs for sale" as they passed with baskets full. And the trolleys rattling down St. Charles Avenue - did they really go clang, clang? - Or was that the song?

    I remember the feel of skinny-dipping under the stars, the water satiny against my skin. My fingers recall the wriggle of a chameleon in my hand and the smoothness of a just peeled sumac wand.

    Those memories still feel fresh - though there have been many wonderful summers since I grew up. These days I feel as if I'm holding tightly to the reins as my favorite season gallops past. I long to recapture that carefree open-ended sense of time and possibility. I ponder the wisdom of Calvin, (of Calvin and Hobbes), remarking to his friend Hobbes, "There is never enough time to do all the nothing there is." Or, as Mary Oliver asked in the poem read earlier, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

    I suggest we wait and watch, listen and feel, and remember as much as we can. And then...do nothing!

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Six Siblings

Sharon Smith Hernandez, Michael Smith, Nancy Eckles Gilbert, Susie Eckles VanKleeck, Bob Eckles, and Terry Smith in Vermont for a memorial gathering in honor of Adele Godchaux Dawson in early 1992.

Friday, February 12, 2021

 Information about the passing of my aunt Evelyn (my father Bradley's sister), sent to me on February 22, 2007, by cousins Abby, Becky and Hannah

Lagniappe—a small gift of appreciation from seller to customer— is one of the traditions in New Orleans.  Evelyn Munro, who died on Friday, February 16, in her Bluebird Canyon Drive home, loved this custom and idea. She believed that her life was an expression of lagniappe; she was a giver and a receiver.  She often would remark how lucky she was. And she believed in the goodness of people.                                                                                                      

 Evelyn died surrounded by her daughters, one month short of her 93rd birthday. Her bed was strewn with flowers and photographs, and the sun was shining brilliantly into her room and outside on the colorful flowers in her garden.

 She is survived by her three daughters, Hannah Margaret Flom, Rebecca Bradley Ferguson Munro, and Abigail Carpenter Munro-Proulx and their families.  She is also survived by her 12 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren. Her husband of 50 years, David Munro, preceded her in death.

 Evelyn Tottenham Smith was born in New Orleans, Louisiana, on March 15th, 1914, to Josie and Edward Smith.  She grew up in the colorful, diverse milieu of the French Quarter. The French Creole influences never left her.  Throughout her life, Evelyn made the most of her many talents: intelligence, creativity, courage, and a strong sense of social justice. 

Evelyn’s jobs and experiences were diverse. As a young woman a meeting with Norman Thomas, head of America’s Socialist Party and six time campaigner for president, inspired Evelyn to join the Socialist party.  She took an office job with the fledgling Southern Tenant Farmers’ Union, with headquarters in Memphis, Tennessee. Evelyn signed on for one month, and stayed four years. According to the late founder of the union, H.L. Mitchell, Evelyn was more than a clerk: “Evelyn rode the back country roads with me,” Mitchell writes in his book, Roll the Union On, “contacting union members at night, dodging the Night Riders on the prowl.” Once Evelyn was set upon by Night Riders and threatened with lynching. She and others fled by truck to the Arkansas border and safety. Another time she and a fellow worker came across a plantation stockade where 13 union workers were being held as slaves.  Evidence gained by Evelyn and her friend led to the conviction of the plantation owner on a charge of “peonage,” slavery—some 70 years after the Emancipation Proclamation.

Evelyn’s adventurous spirit and interest in social issues impelled her to involvement in other causes. One example is her work for the International Ladies Garment Workers Union in Los Angeles where she was involved in organizing a strike.    

 Also in the early 1940s she moved to New York City where she was hired as a secretary for the Manhattan Project. She didn’t know it at the time, but she was working on the atomic bomb. During this time, via her brother Bradley Smith, a photographer, she met David Munro. They married, and in 1947, they moved to California.

 The couple fell in love with Laguna Beach and moved to the village in 1953.  In the more than 50 years that Evelyn has been a local citizen, she has been a tireless activist, artist, and community member.  Evelyn volunteered with the Friendship Shelter from its founding, helping and feeding the homeless; she was a founding member of Village Laguna; she fought against the toll road; she fought for green space, to preserve open land in the area. She was a local artist and photographer, selling and displaying her photos and paintings in private shows, local businesses, and the Laguna Art Museum; she wrote articles and performed public relations work for local businesses and causes as well. Due to her interest in the disenfranchised, she walked a picket line with Cesar Chavez to help migrant farm workers.  Evelyn found like-minded friends among the Quakers  and was a long time member of the Orange County Friend’s Meeting.

 The Munros moved to Cuba for a one-year stint in 1956; the Revolution started up shortly after they arrived, but that didn’t diminish their enjoyment of the country. However, when American expatriates were required to leave, the family returned to the states. They settled in Chicago where Evelyn worked at the University of Chicago. But California was in their blood, so they packed up the car with their three children and one dog, which had also traveled with them to Cuba, and headed west.

 The Munros resettled in Laguna in 1959 and stayed until 1964 when Evelyn and two of her daughters traveled to Africa, joining her husband who held a temporary teaching position at the University of Nigeria. They lived in the small university town of Nsukka, and Evelyn loved it. The university community was peopled with folk from all over the globe.  In Nsukka Evelyn organized a cooperative nursery school modeled after one she had organized in California.  After this visit to Africa, she and her family returned to their beloved Laguna.

 Evelyn loved literature, poetry, music, art, people, and all things French, not necessarily in that order. She introduced her children to books at an early age and instilled in them a love of learning and the written word. She taught them the words to her union songs such as, “Oh you can’t scare me, I’m stickin’ to the union,” and “We shall not, we shall not be moved.”  She also believed in the importance of education. During her eleven year tenure at the University of California Irvine where she worked as editor and writer for the University Extension department, she herself went to college and earned her bachelor’s degree at the age of 63.  

 When Evelyn retired in 1979, her life became even busier. She discovered that she had a photographic knack, learned to develop her own film, and spent hours in the darkroom built in her home. Evelyn and her husband also traveled frequently to Europe and regularly visited their children and grandchildren, journeying from California to Washington State to Wisconsin to Alaska.  She enrolled in a French class at a local junior college, and a group of like-minded Francophiles gathered each week in her home to read Proust or Sartre, in French of course. The “French Group” continued to meet in the Munro home for over twenty years.  Evelyn also became an accomplished watercolorist, taking classes from a local artist.

 After her husband’s death in 1997, Evelyn continued to travel: Texas, Wisconsin, North Dakota, and of course France—her second home. She made her last trip to Europe in 2004 with one of her daughters; they spent time in Germany, Poland, and France.

 Evelyn loved to be with people. She was happiest when serving up a pot of red beans and rice for guests or having her friends over to celebrate Twelfth Night. She loved Laguna, although she considered herself a “citizen of the world.” Evelyn was Laguna’s Renaissance woman. To her family, friends, community, and so many more whose lives were touched by this extraordinary person, this dynamo of energy, enthusiasm, and ability, Evelyn truly was our lagniappe.  

 Interment will take place this summer at Maplewood Cemetery in New York.  A celebration of her life will take place in Laguna on July 14th,, Bastille Day, one of her favorite holidays.  The time and place have yet to be established and will be announced.  In lieu of flowers, Evelyn’s family would prefer donations in her name to any of these organizations:  The American Friends Service Committee, Village Laguna, The Laguna Art Museum, or the Friendship Shelter in Laguna. 

Wednesday, February 03, 2021

Some thoughts by Michael about our mother (Adele), solicited by a conversation with Bob


Bob, a few more thoughts about Adele. Consider this passage from Marcel Proust's novel Remembrance of Things Past. (Proust's mother was Jewish, a Weil; his father was  not.)

"My sole consolation when I went upstairs for the night was that Mamma would come in and kiss me after I was in bed. But this good night lasted for so short a time: she went down again so soon that the moment in which I heard her climb the stairs, and then caught the sound of her garden dress of blue muslin, from which hung little tassels of plaited straw, rustling along the double-doored corridor, was for me a moment of the keenest sorrow. So much did I love that good night that I reached the stage of hoping that it would come as late as possible, so as to prolong the time of respite during which Mamma would not yet have appeared. Sometimes when, after kissing me, she opened the door to go, I longed to call her back, to say to her "Kiss me just once again," but I knew that then she would at once look displeased, for the concession which she made to my wretchedness and agitation in coming up to me with this kiss of peace always annoyed my father, who thought such ceremonies absurd, and she would have liked to try to induce me to outgrow the need, the custom of having her there at all, which was a very different thing from letting the custom grow up of my asking her for an additional kiss when she was already crossing the threshold. And to see her look displeased destroyed all the sense of tranquillity she had brought me a moment before, when she bent her loving face down over my bed, and held it out to me like a Host, for an act of Communion in which my lips might drink deeply the sense of her real presence, and with it the power to sleep."


      The kiss. It carries over to later life, transfers to the romantic/erotic kiss. But love, I think, begins with mother. The French have an expression "La plus belle fille du monde ne peut donner que ce qu'elle a." The most beautiful girl in the world can only give what she has." This saying is most often used in a jocular and lubricious way, but to me it means that a woman cannot give motherly love unless she has received it herself as a child. I only know by hearsay that our mother was not loved by her own mother, and that there was in fact a rift there. But people change, and I think that in the case of our mother, the motherly sense did not set in until quite late in her life. When she had grand-children. 
      Adele was not one to stage elaborate birthday parties for her children. Later in life I was amazed at the hustle and bustle surrounding these events. I grew up with the sense that remembering birthdays was a custom associated with the lower classes, particularly Latinos. I later learned that in Jewish families it was very important. 
      As I recall, Adele showed her love for me through the intermediary of common interests. Nature, painting, customs of people from other lands... This was during my adolescence.

Saturday, January 23, 2021


Sally Eckles speaks of her beliefs

2:28 PM (4 hours ago)



You said something a few weeks back about our beliefs and there wasn't much response.  It inspired me to write down my beliefs.  I certainly am not advocating for anyone to think the way I do; I appreciate all various thoughts, as beliefs are a many splendored  thing.  I have no answers either to the questions that many ask, such as "Why do so many suffer?".  I have speculations, such as in Kushner's book " Why Bad Things Happen to Good People".

God is the creator.  God loves humankind.  God loves me.  God sent Jesus to show us how to live and to demonstrate God's love.  When I was nine I decided to be baptised.  I grew up in a Christian family so it was a natural thing to do, but I wasn't pressured; I decided on my own and have tried to be faithful to my decision each day.  The hardest thing is believing God loves me. I depend heavily on God's grace because I am selfish and lazy.  Being a Christian and living with a Christian community is something I need.  In retrospect I can see a God's hand throughout my life from birth to soon to be death.  I am grateful.  My desire is that my life be a blessing for others, that I live a life of gratitude, encouragement, compassion, joy, giving, humility.  I am grateful to have lived to be 81 years old, to be married to a good person for 60 years, to have three wonderful daughters and five precious grandchildren. God is good.  Whatever happens to me after my death will be good because God is good and loves me.  It's not something I earned or something I deserve.  I am still in spiritual kindergarten.

Monday, November 30, 2020

Testing photo gallery

 Here I will attempt to share some photos taken by Harry Eckles, which have been recently contact-printed by Bob Eckles from some of the many negatives he inherited from his father.


Nancy making clover chains

Susie, Bob, and Nancy

Nancy enjoying some ice cream


Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Childhood Memories, by Susan Van Kleeck, née Eckles

 Freeport: 1941-1948 -The War Years


I was seven years old when we moved to Freeport.  Although these were the war years, and the names Pearl Harbor, Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin were later to become familiar to me, World War II was only a background to growing up.  (Nancy, being older, may have had a better understanding of the momentousness of the events and been more affected.)  My information on the war came mostly from black and white Fox-Movietone newsreels at Saturday afternoon movies: helmeted Nazis goose-stepping before the Führer; Mussolini, pork-faced and jowly, a seeming caricature of a villain, rallying his troops in a huge plaza; terrifying (or perhaps terrified) Japanese soldiers screaming and crashing through jungles.  I was not then aware of the Holocaust, the death trains, and the concentration camps, but somehow I “knew” about the Japanese, that they were expert torturers, infamous for devising excruciatingly cruel ways to force prisoners to talk.  One rumored method that struck particular terror to my heart was the jamming of bamboo sticks under a prisoner’s fingernails and then setting the sticks afire.  Whether the Japanese actually did this or not, I do not know, although I know now that it would have been far from the worst form of torture they practiced.  But to me, it was the most horrifying, the one we whispered about, and I could feel the pain under my seven-year-old fingernails. Even today the memory tenses my shoulders and sends shivers down my spine.  

Because we lived in a coastal village on the south shore of Long Island, nighttime blackouts were a continuing feature of the war.  We were warned that enemy submarines, believed to be lurking offshore, could use our house lights to determine strategic locations of wartime installations. In our case, this was the nearby Mitchell Air Force Base.  A single light, we were admonished, could unleash devastation, and whoever failed to adhere to the rules might be branded a traitor.  I worried that if the enemy were close enough to see our lights, mightn’t he just come ashore and capture us?  We were also warned not to give out information about where anyone in the armed forces was stationed.  A ubiquitous poster of the day was a face with a cautionary finger across the lips and the caption: “A Slip of the Lip Could Sink a Ship.”  The weight of civilian responsibility was heavy.

All houses were fitted out with heavy blackout shades, which we were careful to keep closed after dusk.  Our dining room had a large bay window with three shades, at one time painted on by our mother, but also by guests who frequented the Freeport house in those years and were invited to paint on them.  I have wondered what happened to those shades with works by Bradley’s photo-journalist friends, some of whom, like Andreas Feininger, later became well known.  Bradley was an air-raid warden, and wore a white metal helmet as he went about the neighborhood, making sure that everyone had their shades tightly drawn.  

Mother served in a corps of civilian plane spotters and also as a volunteer at Mitchell Air Force Base.  On Saturday nights she drove a canteen truck, carrying food, drink, and women volunteers to the base to entertain the soldiers.  To our disappointment, we were not allowed to go with her in the evenings, no matter how strongly we pleaded.  It wasn't the soldiers we were interested in, but rather the  chance to ride in the truck, with its impressively efficient Pullman-like fittings of stove, refrigerator, sink, and cabinets.  

Food rationing was integral to the war years.  Civilian families were issued monthly ration books containing a limited number of coupons for basic commodities such as sugar and butter, as well as for scarce non-food items: shoes, gasoline, and tires.  In a family of five growing children, the rationing meant that shoes, as well as clothes, were handed down from one child to another.  As for “butter,” what we were actually able to buy was margarine or “oleo.”  Oleo came in a one-pound block and was pure white.  In the box with it was a small yellow tablet of food coloring, which we kneaded into the oleo to give it the proper butter-yellow color.  There was no noticeable lack of sugar, but of course I wasn’t the cook and perhaps not aware of the substitutions Mother may have made.  Maybe we didn’t use much—I don’t recall desserts as a feature of the meals I remember from those years, not the way I remember oatmeal, red beans and rice, and ham and chicken gumbos.  Perhaps, with Josie and Daddy’s [Bradley’s parents] coupons as part of the household ration, we simply had enough sugar. Daddy Smith was, or became, an expert fudge-maker, and sugar was clearly needed for that, but that may have been after the war.  I had heard, but only vaguely understood, talk of “the black market.”   I don't know if we ever acquired any extra rations that way, although bartering was permissible.  If you didn’t want your sugar ration but pined for more coffee, an exchange with friends or neighbors could be arranged.

Air raid drills were a regular exercise in school.  Although we soon became quite blasé about them, we responded rapidly to the sound of the air raid siren.  The teachers moved urgently about, lining us up in orderly single file and shepherding us into the halls where we would sit on the floor, backs against the wall, knees up, heads bent over our knees, hands clasped behind our heads.  We retained that posture--or risked a not-so-gentle warning rap on the shoulder--until the all-clear sounded.  The school also helped to organize our contributions to the war effort.  Students were encouraged to buy war bonds on the installment plan by buying ten-cent savings stamps once a week and pasting them in a war bond booklet.   There were weeks when I didn’t have ten cents and suffered humiliation at not being able to march up to the teacher’s desk with the others, present my dime, and receive a stamp in my booklet.  When we had saved approximately $18, we had enough to purchase a $25 bond.  Girls and boys alike were also encouraged to knit squares that were later sewn together by some higher authority, perhaps the Red Cross, to make blankets.  These were destined for those in England made homeless by the war.  We heard much about “Bundles for Britain” and in my mind’s eye I pictured stacks of multicolored squares, knit by American school children, tied up in bales to be transported by troop ship to our counterparts in England, whom we had seen in the newsreels, huddled in air raid shelters, wide-eyed and clinging to their parents.

And that was my experience of World War II, except for occasional broadcasts when I happened into the living room as Mother or Bradley or Josie or Daddy were listening to Edward R. Murrow from London.  Murrow’s voice was memorable even if the events he recounted seemed unrelated to our relatively carefree childhood.  We knew, personally, no one who was in the war, except my father’s younger brother, LeMoyne, who lived in the mid-West and was rarely seen.  The news reports, the battles lost or won, the casualties---all happened in a time and place very distant from our own lives.  It was years later before I became fully aware of the severity of the Blitz in England, of Normandy and D-Day, of Dresden, and so many other significant events and battles of the war. 



More about Freeport:  1941-1948

When we arrived in Freeport, we moved into a large frame dwelling at 229 Whaley Street, on the south side of town.  Even today I can remember almost every square inch of that spacious, comfortable house, with its high ceilings, large rooms, wrap-around front porch, and ample yard.  In the mid-80s, a friend who had business in Freeport went, at my bidding, to Whaley Street and sent me a photograph of the house.  Surprisingly, it looked just as large as I remembered—and in rather better condition—unlike the New Orleans house, visited after my marriage in 1953, which defied my memory, so reduced in size was it compared to my recollections.  

The Whaley Street house was entered through a vestibule, where Nancy and I would pause before going to school to remove the knee-length, pink cotton drawers that Mother had convinced herself would keep us from being laid low by the viruses of winter.  The vestibule led into a large entry hall with a stairway that made a 90-degree turn about two-thirds of the way up. This area was notable for two reasons:  Terry and Michael, in their never-ending role of bratty little brothers, used to wait for my boyfriends to come in the front door and then spit down on them.  The second reason stemmed from Mother's decision to have the hall wall-papered and her hiring of a paperhanger.  The wall was a map of the world print, and she was very pleased with the result.  Unfortunately, the following day, the paper had begun to peel off and hung in sorry-looking limp strips. Mother resolved the matter by heading off to the Nassau County Court in Mineola to sue the paperhanger in small claims court.  She was awarded $50, but I don't recall what happened afterward.    

Downstairs there were two living rooms, divided by sliding doors that served as curtains for our theatrical productions, the “stage” being in the rear room.  Off the back living room there were a dining room, and a kitchen with two pantries, and a back stoop where the milkman left milk in glass bottles in an insulated tin box.  Despite the insulation, the milk would freeze in the winter, thrusting the yellow cream, and its crimped silver cap, up over the top.  The kitchen had door that led to the basement, which housed the furnace and a large coal storage bin, and Bradley’s darkroom.  Coal delivery was a neighborhood event.  The driver would pull the truck into our driveway, open a basement window, and position a chute from the truck through the window into the coal bin.  All the nearby children would gather to watch and listen as the shiny, black coal rattled down the tin chute.  We sighed as it gradually slowed down, signaling the end of that mesmerizing procedure, and turned our attention back to whatever game was at hand.

Upstairs were five bedrooms, plus two more in a large attic.  Although I can only recall one bathroom—here my memory fails—I feel sure there must have been at least another half-bath somewhere.  There were nine of us, including Josie and Daddy, and in the summers sometimes eleven, when Steve and Bobby were there. The number and cast of characters varied, but many friends of my parents were often with us on weekends, and full occupancy of the seven bedrooms was the norm.  A memorable incident, which remains a family joke, occurred when photographer Ewing Krainin, on one of his early visits, was spending the weekend with a current girlfriend (they were invariably models he had met during the course of business, and consistently beautiful).  Josie and Daddy had a bedroom in the attic, and there was a second guest bedroom that had been assigned to Ewing.  Thus it happened that one night Ewing, after a hot shower in the second-floor bathroom, wrapped himself in a towel, scrambled up the stairs to the attic, threw open the door to the bedroom he thought was his, and announced, “Here I am—all sweet and clean and ready for love!”  Unfortunately it was the wrong door, and his declaration was made to an astonished Josie.   Even now, years later, “Here I am—all sweet and clean….” remains the punch line that brings a smile to those of us who knew Ewing.

Ewing’s other contribution to family “tag lines” came from a business card that he had printed with Japanese characters and text on one side and on the other, in English, “Hooray, hooray, the first of May! Outdoor fucking starts today.”  In our family, one only has to say “Hooray, hooray….” and the meaning is clear.  Of all the many guests who became part of our extended family in those days, Ewing was decidedly the most colorful and memorable.  He traveled on assignment to faraway places and always arrived on Christmas Eve with a suitcase laden with exotic gifts that he would wrap crudely in newspaper and mark for each of us.  There were Indian saris, golden boxes in the shape of swans from Bangkok, lengths of colorful material from Burma and Africa, jewelry and perfume. But one gift from Ewing in early Freeport days that I'll never forget was an enormous, commercial-size jar---maybe 2 gallons---of black olives.  Never had I seen so many olives!  Somehow he had discovered my bliss.  It was thrilling, and I felt very special that Christmas.   

Ewing  rarely stayed long and he frequently amazed us by letting us examine his airline tickets, which were folded, not stapled together the way they are today.  He would hold the ticket high and let it unfold like an accordion until it reached the floor.  We would peer at all the foreign destinations—Lisbon, Madrid, Paris, London, Brussels, Amsterdam, Athens, Jakarta, Rangoon, Hong Kong, Cairo, Zanzibar—and could barely imagine such thrilling adventures as his tickets offered.  A final word about Ewing: it was from him that I first heard the word “sexy.”  I didn’t know what it meant but I was able to glean a sense of its sensuousness.  He and one of his girlfriends, Skye Patrick, sat at the breakfast table one weekend morning, wearing identical red flannel shirts, eating and obviously enjoying some cantaloupe that my mother had served.  The cantaloupes were fragrant and sweet as nectar, with tender, juicy flesh.  Ewing, bright-eyed, smiled and pronounced the melons “sexy.”  Like a scene from Tom Jones, he and Skye looked at each other, slurping and smiling with a pleasure that clearly came from more than the food.  Ewing continued to be central to our Christmases even when we later moved to Brookfield Center.  

Bradley’s sister Evelyn and her husband Dave, and Dave’s son-by-a-former-marriage, Bruce, were also frequent visitors.  From Bruce I first heard the word “piss,” which I thought shocking but pleasing in its daring.  I tucked it away for future reference.  Bruce initiated my younger brothers, Terry and Michael, into the joys of the pissing contest.  There was a large section of fallen tree trunk in the back yard, where Bruce would line up a row of half a dozen tin can targets.  The goal was to aim their streams at the cans and knock them off the log.  Having two girls as audience heightened Bruce’s bravado, and, as he was the oldest boy, he always won.  Much later I learned that American men might revisit this childhood game.  A Dutch firm was awarded a contract to manage the JFK Arrivals building in New York, and proposed having a black fly etched into each of the building’s porcelain urinals, a design element that in the Amsterdam Airport has encouraged users to hit the target,  thereby reduced spillage by a not inconsequential 80 percent.  Even boys will be boys, apparently, even  big boys.

When we arrived in Freeport in the early summer of 1941, I was soon to enter the third grade at Archer Street School. The school was a short walk from our Whaley Street house, about three blocks, close enough to come home for lunch everyday; no lunch offered at school.    My teacher’s name was Mrs. Dings.  It did not occur to us then, although it did later, to make fun of the name; rather we treated her with the unquestioned respect that was the norm for those times and for our ages.  Mrs. Dings was a kindly, placid sort, with short, wavy gray hair and a pink, well-powdered, complexion.  She was probably in her early fifties.  She was a bit dull, but we liked her, followed her instructions, learned our arithmetic tables, and improved our reading skills.  For me, it was a year of adapting to the new neighborhood, the new school, the playground etiquette, and of making friends.  The relative freedom of Archer Street School vis à vis the Catholic school I’d previously attended was distinctly liberating. As I mentioned earlier, WWII was something in the background.

I had many friends and few enemies.  My two best friends were Laura Jean Vought, who lived behind us on the next street, and Mary Cleary, a twin from a family of 12 children (a 13th died shortly after birth, my first attenuated encounter with death), who lived two blocks away.  Laura Jean’s angelic looks were belied by her lively, impish personality.  Her yellow hair was thick and curly, and she had a deep dimple in her right cheek.  In our home theatrical productions, she was inevitably the female lead, most notably in The Purple-Haired Princess, an early artwork inspired by recycling the purple grass from our Easter Baskets.  It featured Laura Jean in a borrowed gown, her crowning glory tucked into a hair net and hidden by purple shredded cellophane.  The uncritical, enthusiastic audience consisted of parents and other neighborhood children; standard admission was a few cents.  Laura Jean had a false front tooth, the result of an accident just after her permanent teeth came in, and she was able to slid the fake tooth in and out at will with her tongue, displaying a dark empty space in the midst of her otherwise dazzling smile.  This moveable tooth was unknown to most, and it was only after I became her best friend that I was permitted to see it.  At school sometimes she would catch my eye and slip her tooth out, grinning wickedly.  This was guaranteed to crack me up, and nearly uncontrollable giggles would have to be swallowed lest the teacher look my way.  Laura Jean was my right-brain companion: we made up stories, invented practical jokes and dare-devilish games, and acted out of our imaginations.  

By comparison my friend Mary Cleary was plain, but her strong sculptural face was handsome, cheekbones sprinkled with very fine freckles, a straight nose, slightly upturned at the tip.  Her hair was straight, shoulder-length, and the color of pale ginger; her eyes velvety brown, her mouth wide, her teeth even, and her smile friendly.  There was a knowledgeable and self-sufficient air about her.  Mary was among the oldest in her large family, solid and unspoiled.  (Her twin, Johnny, was smaller, with unexceptional brown hair, and in appearance shared only the straight nose and freckles.)  Mary was a practical companion.  We played outdoor games, gathered rocks, studied together, completed simple tasks for her mother, Rose, and helped to care for her younger brothers and sisters.  Chores at a friend’s house held a certain exoticism and never seemed like work, much to my own mother’s exasperation, she later confided, when I would come home and bubble, “Oh, we had a wonderful time at Mary’s house! We washed the dishes! (or hung out the laundry, or folded the diapers, etc.).”

Laura Jean and Mary were the closest of a neighborhood of friends and companions.  When I think now of my own children and realize that one was entering third grade when we moved to Red Hook, as I was when we moved to Freeport, and consider how different the  rural environment was from the one into which I moved at the same age, I often wonder at the difference it has made in their lives---whether for better or worse.  My older sister, brothers, and I briefly experienced a rural environment in Hot Springs, but in Freeport we were surrounded by neighbors and playmates.  Next door were the four Philbin children.  Janet Philbin was distinguished in our young circle by having contracted ringworm on her scalp and having to have her head shaved.  This, we all agreed, was a disaster.  But when her pale brown, formerly straight, hair grew back in, it was curly!  As I had often bemoaned my own straight hair, I was very tempted to apply scissors and razor to my head to see if it would regrow into curls.  In the end, vanity prevented me from accepting the need to go to school with a cap on my head for the weeks it would take to see if the experiment worked, so I abandoned the idea and in my adolescence pursued curls through Toni home permanents, which never lasted more than a few weeks on my wiry, resistant hair.

In addition to the Philbins, there was Bobby Doxsee, who lived behind us and whose family garage was sufficiently close to an apple tree in our back yard that we could climb the tree, hop over to the garage roof, and jump the nine or ten feet to the ground.  We all did it, the older ones sooner than the younger ones, and took great pride in surviving the shock that echoed up our shins as our feet hit the hard earth.  It continues to astonish me that with six children over the years, no one ever broke an arm or a leg, although Mother’s leg was later broken when she was kicked by a horse. Terry, too, as a teenager, was in a serious accident involving a horse in which he broke no bones but lost a spleen.

Catty-cornered from us was a large house owned by the Weinstein family.  Sandy, my contemporary, was an only son whose father was the proprietor of the neighborhood candy store on Bayview Avenue.  It was known simply as “the candy store,” and was where we all converged to carefully spend our allowances, or any money that might otherwise have come into our possession.  It was a time when a few pennies would buy an astonishing assortment of sweets: small packages of Necco wafers, dots (round dots of colored sugar on long, white paper strips, perhaps fifty or more dots for a penny), chocolate cigarettes covered in white paper with gold tips, tiny tootsie rolls, stick candy in all flavors, ropes of twisted licorice (red or black), cinnamon-red hots, nonpareils.  Ice cream cones could also be purchased if one were flush, and, during a period when Sandy was my “boyfriend,” he would take my cone behind the counter and dip it—without charge—into a glass jar of chocolate sprinkles.  Peach ice cream with chocolate sprinkles was my unswerving choice and delight.  

Adult neighbors were also part of our lives in various ways.  Directly across the street lived Marita and Derf Higman, a childless couple who were good, if not close, friends of our family.  Theirs was a neat, rather formal, house, a place we could go without hesitation in an emergency.  I was impressed by Derf’s position as a clarinet player in the Guy Lombardo Orchestra.  Here was a real person whom I actually knew and whom I could listen to on the radio. Every New Year’s Eve, we listened faithfully at midnight to hear them play Auld Lang Syne.  My admiration was amplified by the fact that Derf had possessed the imagination and daring to spell his real name, Fred, backward.  Further away by a few blocks were close friends of Mother and Bradley, Al and Marian Gould.  Al was dark-haired, slightly balding and stocky, while Marian was petite, with soft, shell pink flesh, wavy blond hair, pale blue eyes and an aura of sweet innocence.  Marian was more worldly than her appearance suggested and she and my mother were frequently together, laughing, exercising to keep their figures, gossiping. Al and Bradley shared the profession of photography, although Al was a commercial photographer, not a photojournalist. My first modeling experience was posing for him for a Heinz pickle ad, for which I was paid the heady sum of $25.  Once, later, I posed for my stepfather and had my picture in the New York Herald Tribune Sunday magazine for a feature called “Stoppers.”  This was during the Korean War, and the photo brought a flood of letters from servicemen, sad, intriguing, and funny.  The next, and last, modeling experience was not until 1955 in New York City, when Nancy, who worked for a magazine called The American Hairdresser, asked me to model a pony-tail to illustrate a how-not-to-wear-your-hair article.  Later when I occasionally felt the need for extra funds and saw ads in small newspapers seeking models of “all ages,” I thought about those occasions and remember that it was never fun and always somewhat dehumanizing. 

The fourth, fifth and sixth grades at Archer Street School were, on the whole, happy ones, each distinguished by the teacher’s personality and curricular bent.  In fourth grade our teacher, Miss Eby, emphasized poetry and its memorization.  Most of the lines of poetry I can still recite come from that time, (“Under the spreading chestnut tree, the village smithy stands.  The smith a mighty man is he, with large and sinewy hands…..”)  By fourth grade we were sufficiently courageous to compose a little ditty about Miss Eby giving us the heebie jeebies, which wasn’t, in fact, true.  Presumably it was all the poetry that prompted it, for she was generally well liked.  In fifth grade, the emphasis was on math, and it is to the credit of our teacher, Miss Ventress, a middle-age but lively redhead, that I remember that year as a satisfying one.  It was certainly my last encounter with math that didn’t induce trauma.  Mrs. Yarrow, my sixth grade teacher, was a large woman with iron gray hair cut like a man’s, probably close to retirement age, who did not appear to enjoy either her work or her students.  The feeling was mutual.  Behind her back she was known as “the Battleax.”  She frequently yelled at us and would use a ruler to rap the knuckles of any student sitting within range who spokes out of turn or gave the wrong answer.  She also had a nasty habit of throwing chalk, very hard and very fast, at the heads of those out of ruler range who were misbehaving.  Sixth grade was the worst of the elementary school years, but we were all in it together and my classmates and I took comfort from each other.  

When we were not in school, we did the usual things that children do.  In winter we built snowmen and used our sleds.  Sometimes we went to Randall Park, where there was a skating rink, and we wobbled around, weak-ankles curving inward, until our feet became too numb to continue.  Very occasionally there would be a family outing to Bethpage, where there was another park, much larger and more exciting than anything near home, with trails groomed for organized sledding.  Often we would go down two on a sled, one sitting in front, the other behind with arms around the first one, or sometimes we would lie down, one on top of another, and hurtle down steering into the biting wind.    In warmer weather, sidewalks were covered with our chalk hopscotch games, and we rode bicycles, two-wheelers, showing our progress by the eventual disappearance of scabby knees.  And, endlessly, we jumped rope, individually with our own ropes, sometimes very fast—hot pepper, we called it—and sometimes with a long rope, two people holding the ends, while we each skipped through, then went around the other side to do it again.  Or we played high-water, low-water, the rope-holders raising the rope higher off the ground each time until there was only one person left who hadn’t touched the rope while jumping over.  We spent long, dusky summer evenings playing hide-and-seek, and kick-the can.  As we got older, these games sometimes took on a new dimension when hiding with a boyfriend provided the tingle of intimacy, as we crammed ourselves tightly together in a place where we were unlikely to be observed and could lean into each other’s warm breath and body heat.  

Our circle of playmates was always in flux.  There was a girl who lived at the end of our block, Patsy, I think her name was, whom no one liked.  She desperately wanted to be part of our group, and occasionally we would let her play.  Sometimes, in hide-and-seek when Patsy was “it,” everyone would, by consensus, simply go off and leave her watching warily for one of us to sneak back to base and give the cry “Olly olly oxen, all in free,” when, in effect, the game was over.  We didn’t realize how cruel we were, but I cringe remembering it.  Around another corner lived Gregory Fury, a brown-eyed, golden-haired boy with the coloring of a Raphael cherub.  The extent to which he appeared angelic was in inverse ratio to his behavior, which was exceedingly demonic.  One had to be very cautious of Gregory, whose beguiling ways were generally preliminary to unpleasant tricks.  His parents were either dead or divorced and he lived with an aunt. We considered him an orphan, and excused him sufficiently to let him be part of our games if we needed another person.

Sunday, August 02, 2020

SCRAPPY By Ruth Eckles


I think one of the first times I felt truly ‘seen’ as an adult was by my father when I was around 23 years old. I was living in a barely restored tobacco barn in the woods of Chatham county that rented for $150 a month, and my parents were visiting me. I can’t remember the context or the details of the conversation but my dad kind of cocked his head and said “Yeah...you’re pretty scrappy.” The word stuck with me. I didn’t know quite what he meant, but it felt true somehow.
Here’s how Webster defines it:
1.     Consisting of disorganized, untidy, or incomplete parts.
2.    Determined, argumentative, pugnacious. Having an aggressive and determined spirit. Feisty. Tenacious.
Some random person on the Internet writes:
“Scrappy means attitude. Scrappy means not relying on a title to be a leader. Scrappy means being willing to take risks and put yourself out there. Scrappy means having the steely resolve of a street fighter.”
When I ask Joe what he thinks scrappy means he says, “Scrappy energy is raw and unformed. It’s not having proper technique, or classical training, but getting it done with what you have.” It’s the less polished you, the rough draft you; the you that you don’t commonly present to society.
But what if you want to present it to society? What if scrappy, unpolished energy is what you’ve got to offer? Remember Andy Rooney, for God’s sake? He was the rumpled, gray, scruffy, curmudgeonly commentator on the show 60 minutes who would always begin his diatribes with the phrase “Have you ever noticed...?” and complain about everything under the sun. He was allowed to rant on and on about seemingly random things and get a big salary for it. He was allowed to be in the public eye. I don’t think there’s ever been the female equivalent of Andy Rooney on TV.
Have you ever noticed that women are expected to polish themselves way more than men are? I mean, not that Andy Rooney is what I’m aiming for in my societal presentation, but can you imagine a woman getting away with that?
I do think there’s value in showing up in the world as your scrappy, raw, unformed self and allowing others to see that. People may not like it, but that’s not the point. Scrappiness is about the process, not the final product. The way I see it, if you’re showing up to the process and showing up in general--that’s the marker for success; not a polished product or a perfect ending.
Marge Piercy says that “a real writer is someone who writes.” There’s nothing precious about it. Just show up and do the thing--whatever the thing is that you want to do. And keep showing up. That’s how something becomes real.
Many years ago, Joe gave me that same advice when I was struggling with a relationship with a family member. I didn’t want to give up on the relationship, but I was completely baffled as to how to heal it or improve it. I said “I just don’t know what to do.” He said “You don’t have to do anything--just keep showing up.”
It was s0 simple and wise and it gave me such a huge sense of relief. It wasn’t up to me to ‘do something’. There was no big major healing talk or cathartic moment we could have. I didn’t have to change. They didn’t have to change. The most caring thing I could do was just keep showing up and that (sometimes) is enough.
Sometimes just showing up, exactly as you are, and allowing other people to show up exactly as they are, is as loving as it gets. A scrappy street fighter keeps getting up. Despite the hard knocks, they keep moving forward, they keep showing up. Even when it’s hard, even with egg on their face, mismatched socks, and stains on their shirt.
NOTE: None of this comes naturally to me, by the way. I’m a hyper Virgo who struggles with poisonous, paralyzing levels of perfectionism. I’m trying to embrace my scrappiness more. This note is mainly for myself and for anyone else who might find any value in it. I’m also not talking about people running around in the world being jerks to other people...  I'm talking about no longer repressing your soul/spirit, about no longer refusing to engage with the world or your creativity because you're waiting to be a more polished, more perfect version of yourself to participate.


Sunday, July 12, 2020

What is your inner home like? By Ruth Eckles

“As you practice building a home in yourself, you become more and more beautiful.” -Thich Nhat Hanh, from the book “How to Love” I was listening to a podcast the other day and the speaker was talking about “the habitual tone in which we live.” She was talking, basically, about the relationship we have with ourselves—the way we communicate with ourselves, the voice inside our head, the energetic quality of our continual inner dialogue. It was fascinating to think of this as a “tone,”, a sort of background energetic quality, a general vibe. It’s interesting to think about what that tone is like. Is it harsh? Is it friendly? How do we treat ourselves? How do we react when we make mistakes? How do we react when we don’t meet our own expectations? All of these things play a role in setting the internal tone in which we live. For me, it’s interesting to think about it in terms of a house. If I think about the trouble (and expense) we all take to make our homes a nice place to be—a warm place to be, a welcoming place to be, a beautiful place to be, a comfortable place to be. There’s art on the walls, colorful rugs on the floor, soft couches. There’s things to do—TVs to watch, books to read, games to play; something inviting cooking on the stove, enticing smells coming from the kitchen. All of these things help to set up a warm and welcoming home environment. As I play around with the concept of my inner vibe/tone as a home, an environment, a context, I’m asking myself: how welcoming is it, how warm is it, how comfortable is it to be there? Is it a harsh environment? Is it severe? Is it judgmental? Can I relax there? Can I take refuge? Can I be myself there, without judgement? Can I feel free there? Can I have fun? Is it a context where I can thrive and grow? If not, how can I begin to shift that? What might my ideal internal environment feel like, simply as the energetic vibe that I buzz around with in the world? This isn't an intellectual thing...it's basic being. It’s also interesting to think about the actual home environment where you grew up, and the “tone” that it had, the vibe; the stew that formed you. Because often, we’ll create that same energetic quality that it had, as our inner emotional environment. But it doesn’t have to be that way (if it happened to be not-so-happy or ideal). I watched the Bob Dylan documentary on Netflix this weekend (highly recommend—Martin Scorsese did it) and Dylan said “We don’t find ourselves, we create ourselves, and we create things.” I liked that. Perhaps (despite our programming) we can intentionally create our internal homes like a work of art, always changing, shifting, evolving into an environment, an energy, that can support, nurture, welcome, and hold ourselves and the people and communities we are blessed to have in our lives. On Friday, July 3, 2020, 12:26:20 PM EDT, Michael Smith wrote:

Saturday, July 11, 2020

Nancy Gilbert's memories of early moves, from New Orleans to Hot Springs, Ark., and more. First Draft

EARLY YEARS; BIG MOVES...

MOVE 1

When I Iived with Papa and Mama in New Orleans my best friend and neighbor was

Anne Soule – I often went to Sunday School with her. Then there was real school. In first

grade I didn’t know what recess was. When the kids started running outside I thought it

must be lunchtime so I went home. (I think I was returned to school). Second grade was

much better – the school books featured Bob and Nancy and lots of cutting and pasting.

Suddenly my whole life turned around. We were leaving the city and moving to Hot

Springs. I recall being quite upset that I would have to give up my bed...a twin bed just

like Susie’s. It also meant that I couldn’t play with Anne any more.

My mother, unimpressed by the Arkansas public school system, signed me up for third

grade in a Catholic parochial school. I can’t remember much about the classroom topics.

However I was allowed to skip the daily catechism teachings. Sister Roberta let me

doodle while she droned on.

I lived across the street from a classmate who showed me the ropes: how to use holy

water and explained the stations of the cross. I learned “Hail Mary full of grace” by heart

and added a few to my five “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleeps” along with a list of God

blesses for all the family members. I prayed every night at bedtime...carefully spreading

my hair on the pillow so I would look nice if I should die before I woke. I think it was the

prayers that most disturbed my mother.

I missed my old New Orleans home and school and kept a paper bag under my bed

stocked with some snacks and clean underwear – ready to go if I decided to run away.

MOVE 2

Then the family moved out to a big house in the country and I was transferred to the Hot

Springs Public School for fourth grade. We never met Mr. Hendricks, owner of the

house, and a prominent member of the highway commission who had used state funds to

build his dream home. He dammed the stream that ran through the property creating a

lake (stocked with bass) and built a lovely walkway with weeping willows along the

edges. Mrs Hendricks lived in a basement apartment while he was spending his days in

jail. She was very welcoming to me and Susie. We liked to help her make butter with a

glass churn. We were allowed to turn the wooden blades until the cream turned into

butter. Very exciting. The butter was put into a wooden case with a sliding top and

refrigerated.

She also a one-eyed handyman (Charlie?) who took care of everything – including a few

cows. When one of the cows gave birth the calf was named NanSue after us.

It was a happy time for me -- I loved being in the country. There was Susie, Bobby, Terry

and baby Michael to be looked after. No one paid much attention to my excursions. I

crawled across the stream on a fallen log and hiked up the Ozark hills. I discovered a

 

little cave with a stalactite hanging down. Further up there was a cabin of friendly

hillbillies. I found a fenced-in area with a stile...just like in picture books. I climbed over

it and discovered berry bushes – Boyson berries. I found pecan and holly trees. Beautiful

slim sumac trees – I could peel the bark for wands. I thought maybe I’d grow up to be a

naturalist.

I knew little about Bradley’s work for “Hot Springs, the Nation’s Spa.” I just remember

the drive into town with him every day with “Good Morning Breakfast Clubbers” on the

radio. We were always late ...it took me a long time to understand why the teacher always

greeted my arrival with “Merry Christmas, Nancy.”

I suppose I had picked up some information about God and His requirements from the

catechism classes. I began to truly resent Him when I learned that he was always spying

on me -- even when I picked my nose or went to the bathroom. I missed my privacy.

The house was built on a large grassy area and one afternoon there was a fierce

thunderstorm. Pounding rain, great, loud bolts of thunder and lightning. I ran out to the

yard shouting “I don’t believe in you GOD! Go ahead and strike me down!”

Nothing happened. I was free. I was ten.

There was a hammock hanging near the pond where I spent many hours with The Swiss

Family Robinson. I also loved and wept with Little Women.

Two young men lived with us....renting rooms in the big house. They were known as The

Boys. I was especially fond of Dick Slater, a Canadian who was called home to join

Canada’s war effort. I can only remember the first two lines of the awful poem I wrote

for the occasion: Oh, Dick has to go to War. Isn’t that a terrible bore!

Clearly I didn’t know much about war. But not long after Dick left, Japan bombed Pearl

Harbor. I had no notion of what that meant but I could tell that it was serious. I can still

picture Ma and Bradley leaning close to the radio to hear FDR’s speech announcing the

attack and declaring the U.S. at war. December 6, 1941 – A date that will live in infamy!

That year there wasn’t money for Christmas decorations but we dipped used flashbulbs

in glue and glitter. I thought they were beautiful.

I had a black board and loved to draw. I invented Sylitherine. a chalk version of a

beautiful princess. I never wanted to erase her. I also drew a bathtub after Bradley

requested that I draw him a bath. Not sure if I was being creative or stubborn.

MOVE 3

Bradley found a (photo-journalism) job with Click magazine in New York. I’m sure I

finished 4 th grade in Arkansas and began 5 th grade in Freeport but have no memories of

the move to Long Island – maybe Susie and I went to N.O.

 

Houses I remember

I was born in NYC; - we moved to a house near Baton Rouge (where Susie was born). I

think Papa and Mama were involved with some kind of good works??

A house on Maple St. in N.O. It sat on brick piles – \

The little boy next door and I could crawl under the house.

It was where Katherine came to help care for Susie who had undulant fever.

I remember Papa excitedly catching a Luna moth for his collection.

Another house on Walnut St.

I started school _ not sure about kindergarten.

House in Hot Springs...could walk with classmate to school.

House in the country near Hot Spirngs.

It was huge.

House in Freeport, L.I. – 229 Whaley St.

A big house: room for parents, Josie and Daddy, a room for Nancy and Susan,

A room for Terry and Michael, and finally a small room for baby Sharon.

Archer Street School 5 th and 6 th grades

Next to Freeport schools....7 th and 8 th grades

Then 9 th and tenth grades.

Grades 11 and 12 at Oakwood\

Most summers included a month in N.O.

 

Connecticut – Dinglebrook Farm

We all lived in the large Dinglebrook Farm house until after I was married. It was

wonderfully big with a fireplace, barn, chicken house, pond and many acres of woods.

Grades 11 and 12 at Oakwood\

Most summers included a month in N.O.